I had a football coach who said their were three stages of football programs. First, programs hoped to win. Second, programs wanted to win. Third, programs expected to win.
I have a colleague who talks about loneliness and how intelligence makes you lonely. She says you have to shut up and stop paying attention to the voices in your head. You have to work. You have to make yourself not lonely.
The Filipinos say you can make yourself happy. Happiness is a state of mind. If you want to be happy, just make yourself happy.
Like I said in a previous post, I focus on unimportant things. I get caught up in something and, I fall into a depression. I am unable to make myself happy. I am unable to make myself not lonely. I am unable to work. These are issues I will have to work through for the rest of my life. But the important thing is to keep expecting to win.
The biggest problem I have with my Dad is when he slips into depression, he forgets that he has been there before and gotten through it, and he will get through it again.
I will get through it. I might be crazy. I might have to admit my weaknesses. I might have to work all night, but I will get through. I expect to win.
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Great Sentences I Read In The Past 24 Hours
From J.K. Galbraith's "The Proper Purpose of Economic Development" in Economics, Peace and Laughter:
"One of the generally amiable idiosyncrasies of man is his ability to expend a great deal of effort without much inquiry as to why. Most of the descriptions and pictures of the moon I have seen make it out to be a rather questionable piece of property. The absence of atmosphere would seem to be a real handicap. Likewise of water. The climate is predictable, if poor. In northern Canada and Alaska, agriculture suffers from a very short growing season. The moon presents the limiting case of none. Settlement will almost be certainly be slow. Yet these and similar shortcomings show no signs of deterring man in his enthusiasm to get there..."
Galbraith was no fool. He could write, and he understood human nature. His conclusions were wrongheaded and shortsighted, but he needs to be read.
From F.A. Hayek's The Counter-Revolution of Science:
"...But in the general atmosphere in which Quetelet's work became known the belief was bound to arise that the statistical methods, which he had so successfully applied to some problems of social life, were destined to become the the sole method of study. And Quetelet himself contributed not a little to create that belief."
Economics has been dealing with the same problems for fifty years. The question all young economists must ask, what do I have to contribute? I am not talking about meaningless papers or conference presentations. I am talking about what can we say about the big questions early economists set out to answer.
This begs the question, what are the big questions. I think "how do we enrich Africa and the world's poor?" is still relevant. I also think "how do we balance the incentives to innovate (in health care) with providing these new innovations to people (everyone) who can benefit from these innovations (the uninsured poor)?" is relevant.
What I am trying to say is that Hayek and Galbraith are still relevant. How do I remain relevant?
"One of the generally amiable idiosyncrasies of man is his ability to expend a great deal of effort without much inquiry as to why. Most of the descriptions and pictures of the moon I have seen make it out to be a rather questionable piece of property. The absence of atmosphere would seem to be a real handicap. Likewise of water. The climate is predictable, if poor. In northern Canada and Alaska, agriculture suffers from a very short growing season. The moon presents the limiting case of none. Settlement will almost be certainly be slow. Yet these and similar shortcomings show no signs of deterring man in his enthusiasm to get there..."
Galbraith was no fool. He could write, and he understood human nature. His conclusions were wrongheaded and shortsighted, but he needs to be read.
From F.A. Hayek's The Counter-Revolution of Science:
"...But in the general atmosphere in which Quetelet's work became known the belief was bound to arise that the statistical methods, which he had so successfully applied to some problems of social life, were destined to become the the sole method of study. And Quetelet himself contributed not a little to create that belief."
Economics has been dealing with the same problems for fifty years. The question all young economists must ask, what do I have to contribute? I am not talking about meaningless papers or conference presentations. I am talking about what can we say about the big questions early economists set out to answer.
This begs the question, what are the big questions. I think "how do we enrich Africa and the world's poor?" is still relevant. I also think "how do we balance the incentives to innovate (in health care) with providing these new innovations to people (everyone) who can benefit from these innovations (the uninsured poor)?" is relevant.
What I am trying to say is that Hayek and Galbraith are still relevant. How do I remain relevant?
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
New Year's Resolutions
My Mom (Santa) gave me a pair of jeans for Christmas. For the first time since I was twelve, the jeans are not "loose fit" but regular fit. They are tight and my balls fill compressed, but these jeans feel the same way jeans felt when I was twelve. It makes me nostalgic. It makes me ask where my life is going. And it is almost a New Year so...
My dream is to write a book concerning my economic experiments throughout the world. Each chapter could explain something learned that had nothing to do with the experiment. The book could teach economics without boring people. My first chapter could tell the story of being hit on by both a Filipina and a Filipino during my first experiment in the Philippines. This book would require me conducting economic experiments throughout the world and learning how to write, but we have to have dreams.
I want to become more professional. This resolution requires me to care about what I am doing or quitting. It also requires not doing anything menial until 2:00PM. Take care of my the duties I am getting paid for, then worry about the little things that need attention. It also requires not overthinking things. I have to learn how to distinguish between what is important and what is not important. I have been trying to do this for two years, but it is something I cannot learn from books or other people. It is something I have to figure out for myself.
Also part of being more professional is getting in decent shape. I am fat and will soon lose my ability to beat my younger cousins in sports. Losing is unacceptable. I should try and do something physical everyday. If that means push-ups, sit-ups, walking, running, or lifting weights. I should do something physical.
I have to keep expressing my ideas in written form. This blog is part of this process. I also need to a better job of writing for my job.
I might add, adjust, or give more details before the actual New Year, but I think this post is a good start at creating a better WB.
(Yeah, I am full of shit. My sister, GGM, ML, Jeff, Sam and others remind me of this continuously. At least I know it.)
My dream is to write a book concerning my economic experiments throughout the world. Each chapter could explain something learned that had nothing to do with the experiment. The book could teach economics without boring people. My first chapter could tell the story of being hit on by both a Filipina and a Filipino during my first experiment in the Philippines. This book would require me conducting economic experiments throughout the world and learning how to write, but we have to have dreams.
I want to become more professional. This resolution requires me to care about what I am doing or quitting. It also requires not doing anything menial until 2:00PM. Take care of my the duties I am getting paid for, then worry about the little things that need attention. It also requires not overthinking things. I have to learn how to distinguish between what is important and what is not important. I have been trying to do this for two years, but it is something I cannot learn from books or other people. It is something I have to figure out for myself.
Also part of being more professional is getting in decent shape. I am fat and will soon lose my ability to beat my younger cousins in sports. Losing is unacceptable. I should try and do something physical everyday. If that means push-ups, sit-ups, walking, running, or lifting weights. I should do something physical.
I have to keep expressing my ideas in written form. This blog is part of this process. I also need to a better job of writing for my job.
I might add, adjust, or give more details before the actual New Year, but I think this post is a good start at creating a better WB.
(Yeah, I am full of shit. My sister, GGM, ML, Jeff, Sam and others remind me of this continuously. At least I know it.)
Monday, December 18, 2006
People Disappoint
Yesterday the preacher discussed how unfulfilled expectations can ruin a person's zest for life. Bono once wrote "when you want something so badly, you have already lost it." I do not know what the preacher or Bono's point was, but the old saying "when you don't expect much, you don't get disappointed" comes to mind.
People disappoint. Life disappoints. When I was a kid I wanted to be a professional ball player. Now I want to be a professor who does not have to work. I have spent half my life redefining greatness. I have spent half of my life wanting a reality that cannot exist.
There are two ways to approach this problem. I can either not expect much and be a perfect stoic. I can take what life gives. Or I can make my own reality.
Of course, making reality sounds good, but the truth is most people who make reality are crazy or spend most of their days in their own mind. Unfortunately or fortunately, we have to work with other people. We are social beings.
The trick is learning how to deal with the bullshit. People will disappoint, but you cannot pay much attention to them. Sometimes you have stick with your definition of success. Other times you have to compromise. Like most everything else it is an in-between.
People disappoint. Life disappoints. When I was a kid I wanted to be a professional ball player. Now I want to be a professor who does not have to work. I have spent half my life redefining greatness. I have spent half of my life wanting a reality that cannot exist.
There are two ways to approach this problem. I can either not expect much and be a perfect stoic. I can take what life gives. Or I can make my own reality.
Of course, making reality sounds good, but the truth is most people who make reality are crazy or spend most of their days in their own mind. Unfortunately or fortunately, we have to work with other people. We are social beings.
The trick is learning how to deal with the bullshit. People will disappoint, but you cannot pay much attention to them. Sometimes you have stick with your definition of success. Other times you have to compromise. Like most everything else it is an in-between.
Friday, December 08, 2006
Rich Rodriguez, What The Hell Are You Doing?
You are going to leave your Division I alma mater where you have a lifetime contract, not to go to the NFL, but to take over an Alabama program doomed to mediocrity where you will be fired within five years.
You are going to leave the Big East and its guaranteed 7 wins to go to the SEC and its guaranteed 4 losses. Haven't you learned anything from Frank Beamer? Get your 7 or 8 wins, get your bowls, and every four or five years finish in the top ten.
You cannot do that in the SEC, especially at Alabama. You think Pennsylvania or Ohio boys are going to come down to 'Bama. Do you think Florida boys are going to pick Alabama over any other SEC school or ACC or Big East school for that matter.
Do you think you are going to be the next Bear Bryant? Nothing short of Bear and national championships will make them 'Bama boys happy.
Quite frankly, you have never won anything at West Virginia. You flubbed the Big East and chance at the national championship this season. Last year, the best team in the ACC (not the champions but the best team), Virginia Tech, beat you in Moutaineer Stadium. I know you jumped a Georgia team in a BCS bowl, but they would have beat you seven out of ten times. Really, West Virginia has become the Notre Dame of the east, always overrated and always beatable.
Really Rich, that is the kind of coach you have become, overrated and very beatable. I just hope you do not get fired in the first year. I just hope the next coach at West Virginia will be willing to hire you as an offensive coordinator.
You are going to leave the Big East and its guaranteed 7 wins to go to the SEC and its guaranteed 4 losses. Haven't you learned anything from Frank Beamer? Get your 7 or 8 wins, get your bowls, and every four or five years finish in the top ten.
You cannot do that in the SEC, especially at Alabama. You think Pennsylvania or Ohio boys are going to come down to 'Bama. Do you think Florida boys are going to pick Alabama over any other SEC school or ACC or Big East school for that matter.
Do you think you are going to be the next Bear Bryant? Nothing short of Bear and national championships will make them 'Bama boys happy.
Quite frankly, you have never won anything at West Virginia. You flubbed the Big East and chance at the national championship this season. Last year, the best team in the ACC (not the champions but the best team), Virginia Tech, beat you in Moutaineer Stadium. I know you jumped a Georgia team in a BCS bowl, but they would have beat you seven out of ten times. Really, West Virginia has become the Notre Dame of the east, always overrated and always beatable.
Really Rich, that is the kind of coach you have become, overrated and very beatable. I just hope you do not get fired in the first year. I just hope the next coach at West Virginia will be willing to hire you as an offensive coordinator.
I Am Not Trying To Explain Behavior
I am trying to better observe it.
This is my new motto. Economics is about human action. You cannot truly observe human action ex post. We cannot make inferences from, "he told us his income is $X and he bought a TV." Much less from, "Best Buy sold a thousand TVs at $X, and the county's average income is $Y." You just ignore too much.
This is my new motto. Economics is about human action. You cannot truly observe human action ex post. We cannot make inferences from, "he told us his income is $X and he bought a TV." Much less from, "Best Buy sold a thousand TVs at $X, and the county's average income is $Y." You just ignore too much.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Rainy Days Before Thanksgiving Which Happens To Be My Sister's Birthday This Year
My first year of graduate school I separated graduate students into two classes, professionals and glorified undergraduates.
The professionals treated school like their job. They used their offices. They conversed with their colleagues. They studied hard. They put maximum effort into every assignment. Many could balance being a professional with their non-professional life. Some could not.
The glorified undergraduates acted like undergraduates. They were not professional.
But now I realized a major part of being professional is dealing with bullshit. A professional works when it is raining. A professional works no matter how stupid the assignment. A professional asks 'why' only after an assignment is finished.
I talked to this professor on the bus last night. He was getting back from San Antonio. He said it was 40 degrees warmer in San Antonio. He had his suit, his traveling bag, and his computer. His friend's flight was delayed by four hours, so he had to ride the bus.
I do not know if he thinks his life is hard. I do not know if he thinks his work is important. I do not know if he is happy. I do not know if he cares.
But I know I have to find out for myself.
The professionals treated school like their job. They used their offices. They conversed with their colleagues. They studied hard. They put maximum effort into every assignment. Many could balance being a professional with their non-professional life. Some could not.
The glorified undergraduates acted like undergraduates. They were not professional.
But now I realized a major part of being professional is dealing with bullshit. A professional works when it is raining. A professional works no matter how stupid the assignment. A professional asks 'why' only after an assignment is finished.
I talked to this professor on the bus last night. He was getting back from San Antonio. He said it was 40 degrees warmer in San Antonio. He had his suit, his traveling bag, and his computer. His friend's flight was delayed by four hours, so he had to ride the bus.
I do not know if he thinks his life is hard. I do not know if he thinks his work is important. I do not know if he is happy. I do not know if he cares.
But I know I have to find out for myself.
Monday, November 20, 2006
Balancing
I waste a lot of time. This fact does not make me a bad person. But I just wanted it out in the open.
Life is about balancing. It is about dealing with bullshit. People who fail cannot balance. They get caught up in the bullshit. People who are successful seem to "do everything" and find ways to either ignore or get around the bullshit.
Tyler Cowen at MarginalRevolution.com seems to always be reading five or six books at a time. His ability to read so many books has driven me crazy. Where does he find the time? Is he a genius or what? Does he really read them?
I have been reading the same three books for two months.
I read Hayek's The Counter-Revolution of Science in the shitter. I really think this is an important book that delves into a critical issue most economists ignore. Are we a science? Or, are we something entirely different? Hayek recites the history of how we got to where we are now.
I read Galbraith's Economics, Peace, and Laughter on the bus. Galbraith was not a great economist, but he was a great writer. His influence is more widespread than most economists would like to admit.
I read Joyce's The Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man before I go to bed. I did not understand this book in high school. I understand it better now, but I prefer The Dubliners. Joyce captures the angst children and young adults who never exactly fit in feel.
When I really read something, it consumes me, and I finish it in a short period. I think these books are important, but I balance and decide I must come back to them in time. But will I ever get time? I guess that is another balancing question.
Life is about balancing. It is about dealing with bullshit. People who fail cannot balance. They get caught up in the bullshit. People who are successful seem to "do everything" and find ways to either ignore or get around the bullshit.
Tyler Cowen at MarginalRevolution.com seems to always be reading five or six books at a time. His ability to read so many books has driven me crazy. Where does he find the time? Is he a genius or what? Does he really read them?
I have been reading the same three books for two months.
I read Hayek's The Counter-Revolution of Science in the shitter. I really think this is an important book that delves into a critical issue most economists ignore. Are we a science? Or, are we something entirely different? Hayek recites the history of how we got to where we are now.
I read Galbraith's Economics, Peace, and Laughter on the bus. Galbraith was not a great economist, but he was a great writer. His influence is more widespread than most economists would like to admit.
I read Joyce's The Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man before I go to bed. I did not understand this book in high school. I understand it better now, but I prefer The Dubliners. Joyce captures the angst children and young adults who never exactly fit in feel.
When I really read something, it consumes me, and I finish it in a short period. I think these books are important, but I balance and decide I must come back to them in time. But will I ever get time? I guess that is another balancing question.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
What Do I Want Them To Say About Me?
Milton Friedman died today. He was a great defender of freedom. A great man who stood against popular opinion for Truth. A man who would not give up on the world, even though the world repeatedly failed to meet his expectations.
I wrote "What do I want them to say about me?" in a book. Under it I had written, "Honest,". I wrote it like I had more things to write, but you know what, "honest" is enough.
Friedman was honest.
I wrote "What do I want them to say about me?" in a book. Under it I had written, "Honest,". I wrote it like I had more things to write, but you know what, "honest" is enough.
Friedman was honest.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
"Hey Big Man, Let Me Hold A Dollar"*
I went to a luncheon with the President of the University. It reminded me why I dislike politics. But it reminded that powerful men got that power for some reason. They might not be the best men for the job, but they did get the job.
The luncheon was filled with undergraduates so I remember a paragraph from James Buchanan's What Should Economists Do? while he was at this university:
"...If you allow me, for a moment, to strip the academic regalia and express myself solely and exclusively as a member of the general taxpaying public, I should argue the "product" now issuing from many tax-supported liberal arts colleges and universities does not measure up to my standards of human quality improvement. Instead of turning out "better" men and women, some of these institutions seem to me to be producing at least some young men and women who are demonstrably "worse" than their counterparts who did not enjoy the benefits of my tax dollars. I have on several occasions, along with others, called some of these products the "new barbarians," a term which seems descriptive in several respects and for which I find no need to apologize."
Most kids are not bad, but I think some do not learn the discpline and proper behavior until after college.
*I think this is from the John Boy and Billy show.
The luncheon was filled with undergraduates so I remember a paragraph from James Buchanan's What Should Economists Do? while he was at this university:
"...If you allow me, for a moment, to strip the academic regalia and express myself solely and exclusively as a member of the general taxpaying public, I should argue the "product" now issuing from many tax-supported liberal arts colleges and universities does not measure up to my standards of human quality improvement. Instead of turning out "better" men and women, some of these institutions seem to me to be producing at least some young men and women who are demonstrably "worse" than their counterparts who did not enjoy the benefits of my tax dollars. I have on several occasions, along with others, called some of these products the "new barbarians," a term which seems descriptive in several respects and for which I find no need to apologize."
Most kids are not bad, but I think some do not learn the discpline and proper behavior until after college.
*I think this is from the John Boy and Billy show.
Monday, November 13, 2006
Graduate School Applications To Places I Did Not Get Into
After pursuing education for the last eighteen years, I have decided that I really enjoy learning. For the last five years while I have been in college from August to May, my favorite subject has been textbook economics. Then in the summer, I would go home and work with my father. He called my summer session, “learning economics the hard (or real) way.” After my first year of graduate school, I tried to explain to him that when you add calculus to economics it becomes extremely difficult. He wisely laughed at me.
After returning for my second year of graduate school, I finally realized that my father was right. Textbook economics is wonderfully interesting, as one of my former professors said, “microeconomics is the most fun you can have with your clothes on.” It has allowed me to generate ideas that have helped my father’s businesses. It has allowed me to evaluate my surroundings and see order and disorder that the vast majority does not or refuses to see. Knowing the whys and hows behind the everyday world is an addicting drug that is hard to quit; you understand that knowing everything is impossible, but you just keep striving for more knowledge. But the fact of the matter is my father is the real economist. He is the entrepreneur. He is the innovator that tears down the current constraints of society and pushes its limits to truthfully ‘make the world a better place.’ No matter how many years that I spend in school, he will always know more real economics than me.
Towards the end of my last semester at Bridgewater College, a future medical doctor disdainfully asked me “why do you want to be an economist?” I replied, “I want to really help people.” With this attitude, I went into an agricultural and applied economics’ program. I have since found out that agricultural economics’ does help people, but I am not convinced that they help people in the right way. Their idea that the impoverished need government programs, concentrated on agriculture, and paralyzed by bureaucratic red tape does not sit well with me. Many practitioners of agricultural economics have taken a ‘Robin Hood’ approach, stealing money from the rich, developed world taxpayers, and giving to a sub-sample of the poor, developing world and domestic farmers, while taking their middle man’s cut and allowing bureaucratic inefficiency to seize its share. Again, many of these programs do help people, but faith in the market and individuals have given way to faith in the ‘good intentions’ of self-interested bureaucrats.
These three poorly linked paragraphs tell the story of where I stand today. I am still thrilled to pursue knowledge. I still believe in the study of economics and its ability to unlock innovation and increase global welfare. But I cannot continue to study mainstream economics. I cannot continue to put blinders on and accept the flawed world that surrounds me, while I sit in my office creating intellectually stimulating but useless models. I cannot allow my father to be treated with indifference while agriculturalists and other special interests receive special attention that my father is forced to financially support. I still want to be an economist, but I want to do it the right way. I want to champion the market as the ultimate problem solver, not find ways to circumscribe it. I want to teach people to truly understand the beauty within the mutual benefit of exchange, and I want to enact policies that insure free exchange.
Simply, the economics department at George Mason offers me the best opportunity to find myself and meet my goals. It offers me the chance to continue to learn while being true to my father and myself.
After returning for my second year of graduate school, I finally realized that my father was right. Textbook economics is wonderfully interesting, as one of my former professors said, “microeconomics is the most fun you can have with your clothes on.” It has allowed me to generate ideas that have helped my father’s businesses. It has allowed me to evaluate my surroundings and see order and disorder that the vast majority does not or refuses to see. Knowing the whys and hows behind the everyday world is an addicting drug that is hard to quit; you understand that knowing everything is impossible, but you just keep striving for more knowledge. But the fact of the matter is my father is the real economist. He is the entrepreneur. He is the innovator that tears down the current constraints of society and pushes its limits to truthfully ‘make the world a better place.’ No matter how many years that I spend in school, he will always know more real economics than me.
Towards the end of my last semester at Bridgewater College, a future medical doctor disdainfully asked me “why do you want to be an economist?” I replied, “I want to really help people.” With this attitude, I went into an agricultural and applied economics’ program. I have since found out that agricultural economics’ does help people, but I am not convinced that they help people in the right way. Their idea that the impoverished need government programs, concentrated on agriculture, and paralyzed by bureaucratic red tape does not sit well with me. Many practitioners of agricultural economics have taken a ‘Robin Hood’ approach, stealing money from the rich, developed world taxpayers, and giving to a sub-sample of the poor, developing world and domestic farmers, while taking their middle man’s cut and allowing bureaucratic inefficiency to seize its share. Again, many of these programs do help people, but faith in the market and individuals have given way to faith in the ‘good intentions’ of self-interested bureaucrats.
These three poorly linked paragraphs tell the story of where I stand today. I am still thrilled to pursue knowledge. I still believe in the study of economics and its ability to unlock innovation and increase global welfare. But I cannot continue to study mainstream economics. I cannot continue to put blinders on and accept the flawed world that surrounds me, while I sit in my office creating intellectually stimulating but useless models. I cannot allow my father to be treated with indifference while agriculturalists and other special interests receive special attention that my father is forced to financially support. I still want to be an economist, but I want to do it the right way. I want to champion the market as the ultimate problem solver, not find ways to circumscribe it. I want to teach people to truly understand the beauty within the mutual benefit of exchange, and I want to enact policies that insure free exchange.
Simply, the economics department at George Mason offers me the best opportunity to find myself and meet my goals. It offers me the chance to continue to learn while being true to my father and myself.
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Things I Thought While In Church
This whole chain of thoughts was stimulated by sitting next to a newlywed couple.
1. The spread of AIDS and population increases really show that there is a lot of sex in the world. I just read about the probabilities of spreading AIDS by any single encounter. All I can say is "a lot of sex."
2. Women's hands are much smaller than men's hands. This makes me feel better for some reason.
3. I would rather be around individuals who love people than to be around someone who has been baptized and goes to church every Sunday. These two are not mutually exclusive, but loving people is much more important than baptism.
4. Being honest, especially with oneself, is also more important than baptism.
5. Most people are afraid to say they are afraid. Most people will do anything to cover their fear.
1. The spread of AIDS and population increases really show that there is a lot of sex in the world. I just read about the probabilities of spreading AIDS by any single encounter. All I can say is "a lot of sex."
2. Women's hands are much smaller than men's hands. This makes me feel better for some reason.
3. I would rather be around individuals who love people than to be around someone who has been baptized and goes to church every Sunday. These two are not mutually exclusive, but loving people is much more important than baptism.
4. Being honest, especially with oneself, is also more important than baptism.
5. Most people are afraid to say they are afraid. Most people will do anything to cover their fear.
Friday, November 10, 2006
Announcement
Starting today, November 10th, 2006, the Frederic Bastiat Institute For The Consumer (FBIC)is open for business. Any donations can be mailed to me personally.
The Institute's follows Bastiat's philosophy:
"Treat all economic questions from the viewpoint of the consumer for the interests of the consumer are the interests of mankind."
The Institute's follows Bastiat's philosophy:
"Treat all economic questions from the viewpoint of the consumer for the interests of the consumer are the interests of mankind."
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Why I Do Not Belong In Coffee Shops
This friend calls me up from a coffee shop. He tells me he is thinking of killing a professor. I run right over to try and talk him into doing it.
Since I feel obligated to buy something, I buy an iced coffee. I take one sip and realize iced coffee is just black coffee with ice. I find some Sweet-N-Low. I put it in, but that is not good enough. I go looking for cream. I cannot find any. I am already as high as a kite from the black coffee.
But there is this metal pot sitting on this guy's table. I try my best not to stare at this guy. He looks like some child molester I have seen in some movie. He stares at every women and caresses his computer mouse as he stares. (I just stare. I do not have a computer mouse.) He has headphones on, so I ask him if he is done with his metal pot. He affirms but has a strange look on his face. I take the pot. I tilt the pot, but cream does not come out. It is tea, honey, an opiate, but definitely not cream.
I quickly return the pot. I drink my black coffee over ice, try not to stare at the child molester, try not to voice my bad thoughts about the waitresses, and try to do work.
The moral of the story is caffeine is not good for you.
Since I feel obligated to buy something, I buy an iced coffee. I take one sip and realize iced coffee is just black coffee with ice. I find some Sweet-N-Low. I put it in, but that is not good enough. I go looking for cream. I cannot find any. I am already as high as a kite from the black coffee.
But there is this metal pot sitting on this guy's table. I try my best not to stare at this guy. He looks like some child molester I have seen in some movie. He stares at every women and caresses his computer mouse as he stares. (I just stare. I do not have a computer mouse.) He has headphones on, so I ask him if he is done with his metal pot. He affirms but has a strange look on his face. I take the pot. I tilt the pot, but cream does not come out. It is tea, honey, an opiate, but definitely not cream.
I quickly return the pot. I drink my black coffee over ice, try not to stare at the child molester, try not to voice my bad thoughts about the waitresses, and try to do work.
The moral of the story is caffeine is not good for you.
Saturday, November 04, 2006
Bono And Mary J. Blige Singing "One"
U2's One
Is it getting better
Or do you feel the same
Will it make it easier on you now
You got someone to blame
You say...
One love
One life
When it's one need
In the night
One love
We get to share it
Leaves you baby if you
Don't care for it
Did I disappoint you
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth
You act like you never had love
And you want me to go without
Well it's...
Too late
Tonight
To drag the past out into the light
We're one, but we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other
One...
Have you come here for forgiveness
Have you come to raise the dead
Have you come here to play Jesus
To the lepers in your head
Did I ask too much
More than a lot
You gave me nothing
Now it's all I got
We're one
But we're not the same
Well we
Hurt each other
Then we do it again
You say
Love is a temple
Love a higher law
Love is a temple
Love the higher law
You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what you got
When all you got is hurt
One love
One blood
One life
You got to do what you should
One life
With each other
Sisters
Brothers
One life
But we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other
One...life
One
Is it getting better
Or do you feel the same
Will it make it easier on you now
You got someone to blame
You say...
One love
One life
When it's one need
In the night
One love
We get to share it
Leaves you baby if you
Don't care for it
Did I disappoint you
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth
You act like you never had love
And you want me to go without
Well it's...
Too late
Tonight
To drag the past out into the light
We're one, but we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other
One...
Have you come here for forgiveness
Have you come to raise the dead
Have you come here to play Jesus
To the lepers in your head
Did I ask too much
More than a lot
You gave me nothing
Now it's all I got
We're one
But we're not the same
Well we
Hurt each other
Then we do it again
You say
Love is a temple
Love a higher law
Love is a temple
Love the higher law
You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what you got
When all you got is hurt
One love
One blood
One life
You got to do what you should
One life
With each other
Sisters
Brothers
One life
But we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other
One...life
One
Friday, November 03, 2006
My Day Or "A Better Class Of Losers"
I wake up at 6:30AM this morning. It is so cold I am afraid to get out of bed. I finally get up an hour later.
ML gives me some good advice, but I do not understand it until 12 hours later.
Sam wows me with his knowledge in this group meeting. But I see our problem in a completely different way than he does. I want to force Africans to be white. Sam wants to model Africans as if they were white. Sam is right, but I want to be right.
I go to the most comical seminar I have ever went to. I was the only one who laughed.
I learn to never send an international student to do an American's job.
I go to this party at a house that is the reason I wanted to get a PhD.
During the party, I decide no matter how hard I try I cannot continue on the road I am going down now. Yeah, the house was nice. But the people in it were different than I am. They are not bad people just different.
After the party, I remember ML's advice. So I have made a decision, and after I finish something, I am going to change roads.
ML gives me some good advice, but I do not understand it until 12 hours later.
Sam wows me with his knowledge in this group meeting. But I see our problem in a completely different way than he does. I want to force Africans to be white. Sam wants to model Africans as if they were white. Sam is right, but I want to be right.
I go to the most comical seminar I have ever went to. I was the only one who laughed.
I learn to never send an international student to do an American's job.
I go to this party at a house that is the reason I wanted to get a PhD.
During the party, I decide no matter how hard I try I cannot continue on the road I am going down now. Yeah, the house was nice. But the people in it were different than I am. They are not bad people just different.
After the party, I remember ML's advice. So I have made a decision, and after I finish something, I am going to change roads.
Saturday, October 28, 2006
The Funniest Thing I Ever Did
Last year before our last exam, I wrote the following Indigo Girls lyrics on the board:
"The best thing you've ever done for me, is to help me take my life less seriously."
No one got it. No one cared. The professor came in and did not get it. Maybe I do not get it.
But tonight when I thought about it again, I laughed for five straight minutes. Knowing the professor, knowing the circumstances, knowing everything helps, but it is damn funny.
The whole event sums up life.
"The best thing you've ever done for me, is to help me take my life less seriously."
No one got it. No one cared. The professor came in and did not get it. Maybe I do not get it.
But tonight when I thought about it again, I laughed for five straight minutes. Knowing the professor, knowing the circumstances, knowing everything helps, but it is damn funny.
The whole event sums up life.
Thoughts Or "Well Maybe I Don't Need No Angel At All"*
1. I have not put anything into my idea folder for six months.
2. What is finer a woman's ass or well-done fireworks?
3. A woman's ass is a fine thing.
4. You cannot put anything in the idea folder if you do not have any ideas.
5. Adam Duritz must have lived a disappointing but fantastic life before he became famous.
6. Adam Duritz must be living a disappointing but fantastic live.
7. Adam Duritz probably has a large idea folder.
8. Adam Duritz has probably gone six months without having any ideas.
9. Maybe I overemphasize the disappointment. Maybe I underemphasize the fantastic. Maybe I emphasize just right. Maybe it does not matter.
10. A woman's ass is a fine thing, but fireworks are nice too.
*Counting Crows' "Miami"
2. What is finer a woman's ass or well-done fireworks?
3. A woman's ass is a fine thing.
4. You cannot put anything in the idea folder if you do not have any ideas.
5. Adam Duritz must have lived a disappointing but fantastic life before he became famous.
6. Adam Duritz must be living a disappointing but fantastic live.
7. Adam Duritz probably has a large idea folder.
8. Adam Duritz has probably gone six months without having any ideas.
9. Maybe I overemphasize the disappointment. Maybe I underemphasize the fantastic. Maybe I emphasize just right. Maybe it does not matter.
10. A woman's ass is a fine thing, but fireworks are nice too.
*Counting Crows' "Miami"
Thursday, October 26, 2006
To Be Continued
I told a guy I was studying economics. He asked, “what exactly is economics?” For a second I was dumbfounded. I eventually told him about my thesis research, and he gave me one of those “if it makes you happy” looks. But the question has stuck with me.
In my principles classes I realized economics just put terms to concepts I learned while working with my Dad in the grocery and video store. I was fascinated that you should sell reduced bananas for a price above the cost of packaging (all variable costs) but should not worry about how much you paid for them. I remember arguing with my father whose rule of thumb was always “something is better than nothing” about variable costs. He just wanted to get the bananas out the door. He always had a better understanding of the concept than I, but I knew the terms “sunk” and “variable.”
Then I got hung up on my social responsibility and went to graduate school “to help people.” I was subconsciously scared of “really” working. I was really scared of people like my Dad who understood the concepts better than I did.
At first I liked graduate school economics. My undergraduate calculus classes were paying off. I was matching calculus with economic concepts. But I soon missed the philosophy of economics. I got a little philosophy from reading Bastiat, Hayek, and Buchanan, and even Veblen, Galbraith, and Krugman but I was reading these books outside of class. None of my colleagues cared or had time to talk about philosophy. From my self-study of economic philosophy and a trip to the Philippines, I learned the best way to help people was to leave them alone.
But I was still scared of the “real world.” So I started the PhD program. I quickly became depressed. My whole first year I could never tell what was important. “Grades don't matter, but I am giving you weekly graded homework assignments. Neoclassical economics is worthless, but I am teaching it anyway. Publications are what matters, but you have to pass the qualifying exam.” I quickly learned graduate economics was about maximization of wealth given constraints. It was about economic tools. It was about drawing maps and measuring distances. It was not about creating wealth or breaking constraints. It was not about my Dad or stores. It was about economists. Instead of killing myself, I have decided to wait, be critical when possible, and hope things get better.
So in the past five years I went from seeing economics as this great tool to “help people” to saying economics is what economists do.
And economists bullshit.
But as Bono said “Some of this bullshit is kind of cool.”
In my principles classes I realized economics just put terms to concepts I learned while working with my Dad in the grocery and video store. I was fascinated that you should sell reduced bananas for a price above the cost of packaging (all variable costs) but should not worry about how much you paid for them. I remember arguing with my father whose rule of thumb was always “something is better than nothing” about variable costs. He just wanted to get the bananas out the door. He always had a better understanding of the concept than I, but I knew the terms “sunk” and “variable.”
Then I got hung up on my social responsibility and went to graduate school “to help people.” I was subconsciously scared of “really” working. I was really scared of people like my Dad who understood the concepts better than I did.
At first I liked graduate school economics. My undergraduate calculus classes were paying off. I was matching calculus with economic concepts. But I soon missed the philosophy of economics. I got a little philosophy from reading Bastiat, Hayek, and Buchanan, and even Veblen, Galbraith, and Krugman but I was reading these books outside of class. None of my colleagues cared or had time to talk about philosophy. From my self-study of economic philosophy and a trip to the Philippines, I learned the best way to help people was to leave them alone.
But I was still scared of the “real world.” So I started the PhD program. I quickly became depressed. My whole first year I could never tell what was important. “Grades don't matter, but I am giving you weekly graded homework assignments. Neoclassical economics is worthless, but I am teaching it anyway. Publications are what matters, but you have to pass the qualifying exam.” I quickly learned graduate economics was about maximization of wealth given constraints. It was about economic tools. It was about drawing maps and measuring distances. It was not about creating wealth or breaking constraints. It was not about my Dad or stores. It was about economists. Instead of killing myself, I have decided to wait, be critical when possible, and hope things get better.
So in the past five years I went from seeing economics as this great tool to “help people” to saying economics is what economists do.
And economists bullshit.
But as Bono said “Some of this bullshit is kind of cool.”
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