Indifference, Transaction Costs, Women, And Bus Drivers (Things That Matter But Cannot Be Modeled)

I am sitting in my office. I hit another bottom. I wasted a day debating whether it was worse to be indifferent to the world or the world being indifferent to you. They are both pretty damn bad.

Note to self: This up and down shit has to stop.

I am walking to the bus. Two average looking women pass by me. They look like they are going somewhere. I want to ask them "why not?" I am not a bad guy. I can make conversation. Why not?

But I am scared shitless. As usual I try to explain fear away by rationalizing. I am scared shitless.

I am sitting on the bus. Two average looking women get on. I am still scared shitless. I think they were lesbians. But I was still scared shitless.

The bus stops. I tell the driver if he leaves on time it will be shorter for me to continue riding than walking. I tell him it is close. He says "While you wait to make a decision, the decision is being made for you."