I have read about early-life crises. Twenty-something who wake up and feel they have no direction at all. They wake up feeling alienated from the world. They wake up feeling everything they have been taught is a lie.
These questions can be seen in Stat Boy's post and my previous posts. I do not think I am in a crisis. I am just tired of struggling to figure things out.
I have spent half of my life redefining greatness. I have no idea of what I want. I know things I do not want, but elimination does not give any satisfactory answers until you eliminate everything else.
But here is my reply to Stat Boy: Success is not publishing meaningless papers in meaningless journals. Success is not being mediocre in a mediocre job. Success is not superficial. Success is deep. Success is waking up and doing what you want.
You have to know what you want before you can be successful.
6 comments:
Success is personal.
I am tired of not wanting to get out of bed. I want to wake up with energy instead of feeling as tired as I did when I went to bed.
We define our realities. Some people think success is meaningless articles in worthless journals. I do not think they are right, but they have a definition to pursue.
I am bothered by not having a definition.
I am sure that Jeffrey will disagree with me, but I think if you look inside yourself for what it is to be successful that you will never find a satisfactory answer. I believe God created man and gave us instructions for how to live and for how to define success. While people disagree a great deal about what the nature of God is and how we are supposed to live, if you are looking for what it means to be successful aren't you really searching for God?
I agree. Searching for Truth (God) is paramount to success. But Truth is elusive, and I get frustrated.
Not thinking, not searching, is sin. This sin scares me about my current endeavor.
Killing someone for no reason (murder) is wrong. It is not wrong because the Bible says it is. It is wrong because it makes no sense. The Truth is murder is wrong.
The Truth exists. There are answers to my questions. I am not saying I will find answers, but they are out there. Struggling to find answers is life. It is humanity. It is what separates us from animals.
It has nothing to with academia. If there is no Truth Richmond and Chicago are mirages also. You cannot say academia means nothing without saying Richmond and Chicago mean nothing.
I agree life is absurd. But why did Sisyphus continue to push the rock? Why did Bukowski write? It is easy to quit. It is easy to remove yourself from the search. But to do so is death.
Jeffery, Sam, and I are all looking for the Truth that is why we ask questions. No one else will comment. No one else cares about answers.
Jeffery, those are the people who really anger you. Those who blindly accept a God bother you. It has nothing to do with organized religion or academia. People who refuse to think bother you.
to bastiat et al.
Ignorance is bliss. Or individually controlled thought is bliss shall I say.
And living through thought is relative term. Who is happier - a two year old crawling around not knowing anything without a care in the world, or a 98 year old unable to care for themselves anymore. I'd guess there's a good chance that every 2 year old with a toy in his hand and a kool aid mustache is happier than anyone reading this.
controlled thought its kind of like a controlled experiment... you know how this ends.
We strive our entire life to achieve something better. Trying to cross that one idea to win the nobel. Is it really worth it? Does anything that James Buchanan has done really benefit me? I don't think so. I know it doesn't make me feel any better. knowing that info is out there doesn't help me either. But that is one of my individual perspectives on life and I know yall disagree. Regardless of what you tell me, you won't change my way of thinking.
But my obscure point is, why the hell do we push ourselves. Is it because we're continuously trying to build off of additional experience and think we can offer something great to the world? Is it because we are only willing to examine life from the last pedastal that we've crossed and refuse to take a lateral or backward step? I think for many it is. I think that's a bad outlook.
I think death is having someone else tell you what life is and not being able to decide on your own. I think death is working indoors. I think death is following opportunities and not having the gaul to jump off and blaze your own trail. Everybody's understanding of what we should do is a personal matter. If you ask me, debating what we "should do" kind of spoils the ending.. If you live according to a mold established by the accomplishments of others, then your future has already been /prepared/conquered by some other person. You might as well change your name to thiers. That's taking the easy road.
If you ask me, the process of stepping off of the ladder is the free-est, most alive thing that you can do. It's taking control of your destiny. Following deadend trails is giving up. Suicide i'd say.
We spend all this time trying to figure out where we fit in and where we'll end up. I say quit following opportunities, and make them. If it's off the beaten path, even better - at least you'll see something new.
and one final thought - if you spend your time being angry about others not deciding what they want, it might be good to know what you want before judging the success of others. #2. they don't care what you want.
and finally, my meaningless rant is over. I just re-read it and I realize it doesn't really tie in with a whole lot yall said, but I figured since I spent so long writing it, I'd post it. if it makes sense to you and/or you agree to any of it, good. if it doesn't I don't care. it was more for me anyway (to take a break from my paper).
Anonymous and Jeff's freedom loving comments are appreciated.
The ablity to pursue happiness is the greatest gift anyone can have.
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