Playing It Cool Or What Is An Aggregate Measure Of Risk Aversion?

Life was going good. I lifted lower body for the first time in a month. I had an idea. I had a good conversation. I had an interesting class. I wasted a couple of hours without guilt. I had two more intelligent conversations about life. Life was alright.

Then something stupid (so stupid I am not going to write it down) happened, and I wanted to cut someone from ear to ear. All the doubt, all the fear, all the guilt, all the "second hand" emotions came at once to expel my satisfaction. I had to throw something to keep from crying.

I rode the bus home. I was mad. Then I talked to my Chinese office mate, and I realized I had no reason to be mad.

Now all I can think is "do something." Do something. While I am figuring life out, I have to do something.