Sarah Vaughan Singing "Send In The Clowns"

Every now and then something excites me. The feeling rarely lasts. But for a while, I feel alive.

I stole an average grade on a test. I ran across the drillfield. I had stole something. People run when they steal.

It was just an average grade but I felt like the world was okay.

The grade was not important. It was the realization that grades and professors cannot control my life. It was the realization that I am my only judge.

Before the class, I had basically wallowed in my loneliness (thanks for listening ML). I saw life as hopeless. I faked a few smiles and a conversation, but I was dead inside, completely dead.

But I will wake up tomorrow. I have no idea if this a good or bad thing, but waking up is better than the alternative.