Uncomfortable Or Unfortunate Situations I Have Been In Today

1. I have to get up at 4:30AM to catch a flight. I put on a shirt that is about half-a-size too small. A big man knows that this is one of the worst things one can do. It makes you self-conscious all day. It also makes you look like a fat idiot as you are walking through airports, hence, the self-consciousness.

2. I go into a bathroom at a fairly large airport. There is a man, an attendant, sitting there. I have to drop a sizable load. He sees me go in. Ten minutes later, he sees me go out. I know he understands, but like the shirt, it is just an uncomfortable situation.

3. I also don't know what to do with the attendant. He doesn't have an official tip jar. There are some mints and Listerine with a money jar, but that looks like it goes to a charity. Again, I don't know what to do.

4. I shotgun 40 ounces of Diet Coke. The caffeine and and liquid causes bladder spasms. I have to piss 4 times in the next two hours. This situation amplifies the uncomfortableness of 2 and 3.

5. Since I left this morning, I missed the opportunity to see Kevin Durant, the emerging Thunder, and maybe this year's champs, Spurs.

Just an unfortunate day.