Three Of My Many Faults

1. I have to be in control.

My Dad's anti-alcohol anti-drug speech consisted of "I never liked being out of control." He quit smoking cigarettes when he lit another cigarette after having one already lit. He knew then he could not control his smoking, and he quit (and gained eighty pounds).

I have taken his message to heart. I cannot stand to be "out of control." I cannot stand to think my future or present is in someone else's hands. No matter if it is a simple party or meeting, I think I could organize it better.

2. I require others to boost my self-confidence.

This probably comes from my parents too. I define my worth by others' compliments and criticisms. I know this is stupid. But I still do it.

I am getting better. I think this is one of the things that age and perspective cures, but it takes time. And I might be wrong; it might get worse with age.

3. I believe in justice.

I care. I cannot let things go. I believe there is a proper way to act. There is right and not right.

I get involved in other people's struggles. Many times this involvement is a diversion from my own struggles.


These three things are really the same. But their sum leads to me being an angry and unfocused person.

It can also lead to perpetual unhappiness, but I can and will change.