Ugly Conversations In The Gym

I lifted alone today. I had one and half conversations while I was at the gym. I will repress those one and half conversations for the rest of my life.

I will start with the worst. There were three people lifting. One happened to be a bi-sexual. I know this because I overheard him revealing this to someone. I stay away from him. He is not a bad guy, but I would rather not talk to him. He likes to talk.

Well, I avoid him in the weightroom. But he catches me in the shower. He caught me bad.

A quick digression is necessary. My generation prefers not to look at naked men in the lockeroom. We wrap a towel to and from the shower. We dress quickly. The older generation does not care. They walk around with their towel over their shoulder. They will sit and talk on the bench wearing nothing. It is disgusting. They need to split the young men and the old men into two lockerooms. (Maybe, they can put young men with young women. Now, there is an idea.)

The first rule of my generation is, "never talk to anyone in the shower." Well, the bi-sexual guy comes into the shower and burps. I quickly rinse the shampoo out of my hair. (I do not know why I bother with shampoo; habit I guess.)

As I am walking out, "Its nice not to have the undergraduates around."

"Yeah," I answer quickly grabbing for my towel.

"I think the internet gives these guys bad impressions about their bodies. They think they have to look like the guys on TV to get layed. They work-out instead of studying."

An interesting thesis but we are both completely naked. Like an idiot I continue, "Unrealistic expectations, none of them can sustain a regimen."

"I am happy with who I am." The guy points to his penis. "I tell these guys its not the pencil but the pad." I have no idea what this means. He points to his penis again and then to his stomach. "Eventually, there will be male anorexia." I am sure he pointed to his penis twenty five more times, but I am repressing.

"Yeah." I do not know why I did not get the hell out of there. We continued talking for a few minutes before I went to my locker and wondered how this conversation was going to scar me.

The sad thing is he had a point. It would have been a fine conversation if we were wearing clothes. Men do have image problems. This story and what I am repressing says something about my image problems.

Still, naked men should not talk to each other.

Before my shower from hell, I am riding the bike to cool down. This girl is riding beside me who used to work at the gym. She is attractive enough. I ask her what she is reading, she says and shows me, "People." I say something inconsequential. She says, "nothing good, just trash."

She said it with a big smile. I could tell she wanted to talk. She probably missed out on a fun Spring Break for some horrible reason. She probably had not really talked to anyone for a week.

But dumbass me, I did not continue the conversation. All she wanted was someone to talk to. I could have rode the bike a few extra minutes and missed the bi-sexual guy. It was a mean thing for me to do. I hate when people treat me that way.

I will continue this in my next blog topic about breadth versus depth. Now I need to go home and watch a lot of lesbian porn.

A Chinese office-mate knocks on my door and asks, "Do you use LaTeX?"

How do you answer that one while keeping a straight face?