My definition of a successful relationship is two people who are better together than apart, two complements. This does not say much. It is centered around my favorite economic concept, mutual benefit of exchange. Two people expanding their production possibilities frontiers by being together.
But ML simplified the definition. She said a successful relationship is two people who make each other feel better. Two people who boosts each other's self-image. ML's definition is cleaner because the individuals within the relationship define success. My definition can be misinterpreted to allow for a mythical social force that defines "better together than apart."
These definitions apply to many types of relationships. They are not limited to romantic ones.
As I have gotten older I have come to appreciate "role players" in my life. People who do not fit into my grand scheme but make me feel better for a period of time. I really do not have any long-term relationships except with my mother, father, and sister. Other people helped me get through moments in my life, but I do not talk to any classmates from elementary or high school or college. Sometimes I think I have made a mistake, but clean breaks are the best way for me. It keeps me focused on the future and helps me forget the past.
When you find someone you love, someone you want to wake up next to forever, someone who is not just a "role player," it must be a great feeling.
But you cannot fake love. You cannot lie to yourself. Life is about recognizing "role players." It is about being honest. Its about saying "thanks for making me feel better, but you are just subbing the star for a few minutes." It is a tough but necessary realization.
It is also mutual. A "role player" cannot be a star to one person in the relationship. One sided love cannot last.
My conclusion is that we have to examine our relationships. We have to recognize them for what they truly do: make us happier.
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