Breadth Versus Depth

I have been debating the following ideas for a year. I have neither the time nor the energy nor mental capacity to make this a readable post. But I want to say something today, in case I go crazy and am sent to an asylum tonight.

ML and the Filipina tell me life is about breadth of experience. You have a gut-level reaction you like someone; you ask her out or start playing the game with her. You talk to the girl on the bike. Thinking gets you in trouble. Life is making the most out of random occurences.

"I took the money. I spiked your drink. You miss too much these days if you stop to think... You know I love the element of suprise." U2's Tryin' To Throw Your Arms Around The World

I care much about the depth of an experience. I study the gut-level reaction. I throughly examine if there is more than just a gut-feeling. The introspection is the important part of the experience. Knowing why I was attracted, why I reacted the way I did matters. You do not talk to the girl on the bike because there is nothing to say. Life is explaining randomness. Life is what you learn through experiences.

A blogger in ML's blogosphere said "everything is better in person." You have to see it to believe it, to feel it.

I disagree. I get more out of a football game on TV than 90% of the fans in Lane Stadium. I see the two coordinator's chess game. I see athletes versus football players. I see discpline versus reckless abandon. I see hours of practice and preparation that went into the game. I see the humility it takes to play football. To me, the game itself and what the game teaches is important. "Enter Sandman" and getting drunk with friends does not teach anything. It is a wasted experience. It is experience for experience's sake. (I prefer Rattle and Hum to a live U2 concert. It is a deeper experience. "Fuck the revolution" taught me more than the drunks at RFK .)

"I don't care where you've been. I want to know where you are going."

But I am changing. I think ML, the Filipina, and the blogger have a valid point. You have to do things just to do them. Life gets boring watching TV. Life gets boring sitting in the classroom. You can only study for so long before applying what you have learned.

Of course, there should be a balance, but I have never been able to balance anything in my life. (I almost crushed my testicles on the balance beam in elementary school.)