When Was The Last Time I Was Happy?

I emailed ML, "acting happy is not being happy." She blogged about it. I said it in response to a specific comment she had made, but I really did not put much thought into it.

I do not know what happiness is. I cannot make claims to whether someone else is happy or not. Keep that in mind as I continue.

I don't like to talk about specific individuals, but considering the readership of this blog, I don't think I will hurt anyone's feelings.

I read a blog post that went something like this: 'I have been insanely busy over the past two months. I will continue to be insanely busy. My computer crashed putting me two days behind. But, I like being busy because otherwise I would be bored.'

To me, this is acting happy. Yeah, things could be worst, but they also could be better. If you're so happy, why are you telling me about how busy you are and how your computer crashed. And, if you really like it, why do you have to tell me that you like it? There is disappointment underlying the post.

Of course, the disappointment says little about true happiness, but denying the disappointment does not make you happy or happier. You are not being happy; you are just acting happy.

It is like at Christmas when you get a gift that you are indifferent to. You appreciate the thought and act happy, but you cannot lie to yourself and suddenly love the gift. You smile and say 'thank you,' but you are never going to wear that sweater.

There are no guarantees of happiness only the pursuit of happiness. This pursuit is what I struggle with daily.

I have spent half of my life redefining greatness. Right now, I cannot decide if greatness is being a classically liberal economist, a profitable entrepreneur, a loving family man, or my million other dreams. Again, this says very little, but I refuse to act happy when I know there are better things out there.