I must think of myself as a badass. I still think I could get in a three point stance and block guys. I still think I can take a few months to get back in shape and be able to play "ball." I think I can do it. But I don't do it, because I don't want to. I am so badass, I do what I want to.
I have to think this way, because when I don't, I am not worth a shit. This proof of this statement is evident (at least in my mind). When I don't have this "lethal ape" feeling, I don't get things done. I am tentative. I am bored. I am not much good. As Ol' Willis Bond used to say, "I ain't worth a shit."
I am not violent. I recognize that it is just a feeling. I know that I couldn't block my sixteen year old 150 pound cousin. I can't even get in three point stance without mildly injuring myself. I recognize that all I really need is confidence in my ability to push through the difficulties that life throws in front of me.
But there is no better way to instill that confidence than to convince yourself that you are a Grade A, Mr. T-like badass.
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