Friday, April 06, 2007

Jeff, Academia, And Life

Yesterday Jeff sent me one of those Emails. One of those Emails that arrive at the exact right time. He spelled out what was important in life then asked me why I was doing what I was doing. If it was out of fear of failure, then I needed to change. If I was a zombie then I needed to live.

Most everyone in academia is scared, scared of not getting tenure, scared of not getting grants, scared of society seeing their unimportance. It is a real sad place. I have never had anyone in academia spell out what success entails like Jeff did in his Email. Most academics say success is not failing. Getting tenure is meaningless, but not getting tenure is devastating. Publishing articles no reads is meaningless, but not publishing articles is something much worse.

I admit I can and have gotten trapped by this fear from time to time..

But I am not going to be afraid to fail anymore. I can do the work I want, and if it does not pan out then so be it. I am going to be my own boss, no matter if I have to answer to others who get a big thrill out of being other people's boss.

The three most liberating things I have done in my life are pissing on a trash barrel full of burning trash (oh the sizzle), pissing off the front porch when my Mom wasn't looking, and pissing in a sink at a UVA game when the urinals were full. From now on, I am going to feel like that everyday.

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