I have been trying something new this week. I write down my core achievements that I want to accomplish in a journal, and I try to achieve them. It has not been a success. But it has not been a failure either.
As usual I have a difficult time expressing my core achievements. Writing is difficult. Saying I want to finish a draft of the introduction has no meaning. I worked on the introduction, but what does a draft really represent?
But the thing that worries me is that I do not have any goals. I do not know what I want. People tell me that "everyone knows what they want." But I do not. I have no clue. I have tried to find that light at the end of the tunnel. I have tried to answer "where do I want to be in five years?" But I cannot. I have general inclinations, but nothing definite enough to be a goal.
To achieve any kind of success, a person has to have goal. Success is achieving goals. "Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life." "A limousine without a place to go is no better than a bike with flat tires."
I cannot concentrate enough to finish this post. This lack of concentration is my problem.
People get to this point, where all the stupid shit that drives adolescence, that keeps people without goals getting out of bed in the morning, all of this shit that pulls us in a million different directions, becomes transparent, where life becomes clear. Everyone does not get to this point, but damn it, I will get there.
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