Sad Men

I am trying to change in the lockeroom. I am trying to keep my eyes up as the old men parade around naked. I am so sore from squatting that I want to cry. I am afraid I am going to cramp while I am naked.

Then this guy whose skin is blood red sneaks up to this other guy who has a locker near mine. Red Guy says "I have new favorite exercise."

My Neighbor replies "Oh, what is it?" He asks it in a way that demonstrates that he is a little scared of this conversation's potential.

"Oh, the sauna. You know, last weekend, I talked to my wife. We might be able to reconcile." Red guy breaks the code of the lockeroom. If he had had sex, then this would be a fine conversation, but they just took a walk and talked.

My Neighbor placates Red Guy, and gives some words of encouragement. Red Guy could not find the courage to even say "thank you."

The story has no real point, but I am going to bullshit for another few paragraphs.

I felt sorry for Red Guy, but he also scared the hell out of me.

I know women can turn men into whipped dogs. I know love is a powerful thing. I know losing love is a devastating thing. But you cannot dump your feelings on a guy in the lockeroom when he is half-dressed. Somethings you have to discuss in private.

This is stupid. I am scared, because I do not want to be Red Guy. I am scared, because things do not always work out the way according to plans.

It is okay to be scared, but you have to find confidence in your ability to survive and adapt.

Today, I am confident in my ability to survive and adapt.

I do not know about tomorrow. But that is okay.