My Day

I moved someone from 9:00AM to noon. The total value of everything I moved was less than $200. The replacement value might have been higher, but I am taking my Dad's advice next time: "Give them $100 and tell them to hire someone, it is never worth it to move someone."

I go on a date with my girlfriend. (I have said it. I am sure she will break up with me within an hour.)

I do not have many stories. I have not lived an interesting life. So I told her about the time I got a piece of hamburger lodged in my throat. I hung upside down. I did everything I knew how to, but I had to go to the emergency room. It was not a pleasant day. I went to specialist. He told me I just needed to chew.

She laughed. Everything was going well. Then karma struck. I forgot to chew. Less than two minutes after the story, I had a piece of chicken or a potato lodged in my throat. I tried to throw it up off the deck of the restaurant. I went to the bathroom and tried to throw it up. I was trying to act cool by telling her everything would be fine, but my body was producing a gallon of saliva every thirty seconds. I went in and out of the bathroom eight times in ten minutes. I can only wonder what the other people on the deck were thinking.

She paid. We left by the backdoor. I tried to convince her everything would be alright. It was not. I kept spitting (throwing up) saliva every thirty seconds. She offered to take me to the emergency room. I said "No." "I can drive." "I will get my roommate." "Okay, you better take me."

Two hours later after an IV to relax the smooth muscles in my throat, I swallowed the chunk. They gave me an appointment to see a specialist on Monday morning. I have no idea what they charged me. The doctor saw me for a total of one and a half minutes.

(My girlfriend did not leave me. So I guess that is a good sign. All kidding aside, I cannot thank her enough. But I will be indebted to her until I save her life.)

The moral of the story: "Chew."