Request

I am trying to think of ways to punish (reward) myself for not getting things done (getting things done). Since I have no money, the punishments and rewards cannot be monetary.

The fact that I cannot come up with anything says almost as much about me as the fact that I have to do this in the first place.

Paul Krugman's Blog

I just visited Krugman's blog. I am not going to post a link. It is easy to find if want to read it.

My problem with Krugman and politically liberal economists in general is that their self-righteousness. It is their wonderful faith in themselves. I think Krugman really believes that if he was appointed "supreme dictator of the world" that the world would be a perfect place. The confidence he and liberal economists have amazes me.

It also frustrates the hell out of me. I readily admit I can barely take care of myself. I admit I am fucked up. Right now I am internally debating whether to go to a tailgate. I am debating the importance of friendship, fellowship versus private reflections. And I have no answers. None. Zero. All I know is I have to figure things out, I, me not the collective

I can pretend like Krugman and Galbraith. I can spout off Utopian health plans or how horrible the Iraqi War is. But I would just be pretending. My health is too good. I am not in Iraq.

I do not know. And neither does Krugman.

Change

I have not posted in ten days. I have had nothing to say.

I have had nothing to say for a while.

I rode the bus this morning. I sat there thinking about how little ambition I have. I thought about how my professional career is doomed to mediocrity. I went to college and graduate school, so I would not have to struggle. So I will never have to work like my Dad.

I will never have to struggle, but acceptance of mediocrity, lack of ambition might be worse than struggling.

Last night my co-blogger called. He felt the same way I do. He talked about ideas and entrepreneurship. It was a great conversation.

But I rode the bus this morning and thought about how little ambition I have.

Another Thing

I haven't ate meat in 30 hours.

I did not realize this, and it will be rectified tonight.

I Am Not Changing The Previous Post's Title

Yeah, I caught myself peaking.

I hope not. I really hope not.

If this is the best I can do, then I am not much.

I have always wanted the next year of my life to be my best. I still want this.

Yeah, I Caught Myself Peaking

I have checked the Redskins' score today. I have even checked the Braves once in a while. I know they are eliminated. I know Junior is not in the Chase. But I am trying not to be as obsessive. This is a good thing.

Virginia Tech football will be Virginia Tech football. Beamer will win 8.5 games a year. He will always be near the top of a weak ACC. He will always have great athletes. He will always depend on defense and special teams. He will never show the offensive creativity it takes for teams to win national championships. He will get beat by superior coaches who have as much talent as he does. Sometimes he will get beat by superior coaches who have less talent than him.

As Dennis Green said "It is what it is."

So Hokie football is going on the list with the Redskins, Braves and Junior.

(Yeah, I know the Redskins won.)

Absolute Reality

My past 24 hours:

Yesterday 8:30AM
I have to run to the bus, so I get to my office in time for someone to pick up a ticket up from me. I forget my lunch.

Yesterday 10:30AM
After waiting an hour for someone to pick up a ticket from me, a former colleague (Jeff named her "Ugly") asks me who this student she is supposed to be working with is. I have no idea but ask this new guy. His description, "He looks a whole lot like you (me), bald, but less bulky." After I beat the living shit out of the guy, the former colleague found her man. Of course I did not beat the living shit out of the guy, but I spent the next two hours thinking about how I could stink his office or anonymously hurt him. The someone never picked up the tickets, but I waited and waited.

Yesterday 12:30PM
I go to class. I am bored out of my mind. I think this is my last semester of classes. Thank goodness. I had better undergraduate classes. At least then I could talk about reality without getting looked at like I was an idiot and silenced by the professor.

Yesterday 2-6:00PM
I try to break even on my tickets. I am walking the streets like a whore. "Who needs tickets? Because I got what you need, baby." There are a hundred whores and no johns. My phone is barely functional. I do break even. Thank goodness. But it was a struggle I did not need.

Yesterday 8:00PM
I go to the concert. I am so tired. The concert makes me more tired and sad. This whole university does not want to discuss reality. It is caught up is some dream world that does not exist. A dream world I do not want to exist. I leave early.

Yesterday 10:30PM
I eat my lunch for dinner. It was okay. My back is stiff from walking and standing. I take two Advil. It takes a while to sleep. But sleep comes.

Today 8:00AM
I get up late. I eat breakfast. I realize I have nothing for lunch. I run for the bus. This running is not good on my back.

Today 10:30AM
The new guy and his friends are back. I am looking up temporary insanity cases. I would be doing the world a favor.

Virginia Tech Has Quarterback Problems

Sean Glennon is quoted in this article:

"I think Tom Brady is a little more credible than a lot of the guys that have opinions on me, so it's nice to see," Glennon told reporters in Blacksburg, Va., earlier this week. "It's nice to have someone with obviously a very high football IQ give me compliments."


Good quarterbacks must have confidence, but given his last two performances, Glennon isn't a good quarterback. I might not be credible. I might have a low football IQ. But the last two times he has suited up, he has been consistently horrible while showing flashes of mediocrity.

He lofts one of those deep passes up against LSU, and a defensive lineman is going to put him on his ass during the interception return. I wonder what Tom Brady will say then. He will probably say "good job" like he did last week, because I know he is not watching the game.

What I Am Reading

1. I just finished The Evelyn Wood Seven-Day Speed Reading and Learning Program by Stanley D. Frank. I cannot read thousands of words a minute, but it taught me that skimming is okay, especially if you do it effectively. A lot of what he suggests I already do which made me feel better.

2. I am working on William Easterly's White Man's Burden. Like his The Elusive Quest For Growth, it shows how individuals not governments create growth. He also makes the Sachites look like the idiots they are.

3. I just started Tim Harford's The Undercover Economist. It has been disappointing so far. Maybe I had too high of expectations.

4. I have been struggling through Hemingway's Farewell to Arms. I prefer his short stories.

Business, Change, And Life

My Dad has owned a video store for the past ten years. He has went from not knowing what a DVD is to having a rental catalog of 6000 DVDs. He went from having an inventory of about 100 cassette tapes to having an inventory of about 1000 CDs five years ago, to having about 250 CDs now. He used to have half of the ice cream freezer filled with ice cream novelties under a dollar. Now the freezer is three fourths Ben and Jerry's.

He convinces himself every year that it will be the video store's last.

Change is difficult. But if you take a step back, the one constant, is that we survive change.

Surviving has to be enough.