Things I Learned This Week

1. I am bald. Every time I get a haircut, I get balder. There is nothing I can do about this. It is something I must accept.

2. Everyone should read an English grammar book once a year. English is a complicated but great language.

3. A sexy woman is more dangerous than a good woman. But a woman who is both sexy and good can kill a man without touching him.

4. I am crazy, absolutely fucking crazy. This is another thing I have to accept.

5. All there is in life is right now. The past and future do not matter. (Thank you C.S. Lewis and Jeff.)

6. You cannot be angry all your life.

7. A woman's scent is enough.

8. Everything is going to be okay.


There is this guy who comes to the gym that looks like a cross between Gary Busey, Nick Nolte and Robert Redford. He is 60 years old and carries himself like Gary Busey, Nick Nolte, or Robert Redford. He thinks he is hot shit and gives the impression he might just be.

Today he walks into the gym with a woman half is age. She is somewhat attractive. She looked like the intellectual type. I doubt if anyone had ever told her she was beautiful before the old guy did. They are holding hands and kissing. I am getting sick.

At first I convinced myself the whole thing was a crock. He did not love her. He loved screwing a woman half his age. She thought she was in love, but she was fooling herself. She had fallen for his sophistication and how he always knew what to say.

While we are changing, he starts whistling. Here is a whistling 60 year old man completely naked. After the horror of being in a room where a naked old man was whistling subsided, I decided maybe he was in love. And even if was not, he must be happy.

I thought about the somewhat attractive intellectual changing in the women's locker room. After I quickly forgot the image of her naked body to prevent embarrassing myself, I decided she was probably happy too.

What more can anyone ask for?